Impromptu Serenade

Last night we took our youngest to see an Allergist Specialist that we were referred to by Children's Hospital so I didn't mind driving to this nearby city. After conducting a test on our daughter the physician determined that although the skin test shows no allergy to this particular protein she is most likely allergic to it and is now referring us to Stanford for a second opinion on the results we received from the biopsies. Ugh!!! No conclusive results, lots of tests and still no definitive answers is frustrating to us and her.

After this disappointing appointment we decided to explore the town and take our minds off of the stress we all have been feeling for months, so we found an outside square that had a live concert going on. We were all hungry and decided to get some dinner. Apparently the place we walked into was a restaurant by day and a bar/club by late night but we didn't figure this out until after we had ordered. We enjoyed our dinner and as we reached for the bill the oddest sound of singing penetrated our ear drums. It was Karaoke night!

Twin A loved the idea of this and quickly asked if she could get up and sing a song. At this point there were only about a dozen people in this restaurant/club so we decide to let her try it. She sang off key with a giant smile and feeling quite proud of herself, her song choice, Carrie Underwood's Jesus take the wheel. Well of course twin B wanted to try it too. She sang another Carrie Underwood song off key with a deer in the headlights kind of look. The small but growing audience clapped and cheered for the munchkins.

I'm thinking can we go now? No....because my darling husband decides he is going to get up there and sing to me a song that he has always sang to me throughout the years albeit alone in our room. I'm thinking he would sing a country tune from John Michael Montgomery. The lights go down, he takes the microphone on the stage and within the first few bars of music (think Name That Tune) my heart skips a beat and I realize he is singing me his serenade live in front of this room full of strangers, the song from My Fair Lady, On the Street Where You Live.

After he got off the stage with twins clapping and cheering for him, he walked over to me and gave me a kiss and said, "I love you." Then this woman from the audience came over and hugged me as if she knew me and said, "that was the sweetest thing, you are a lucky woman." I would have to agree.

Growing Pains (Mom & Dad's)

The twins went off to sleep away summer camp last week and while I thought they were still too young for this type of camp we let them convince us they should go and I'm so glad we did. Many girls from their school were planning on attending the camp during the same time and I found comfort in knowing that little fact. We arrived up at camp early not really knowing what to expect. The counselors were ready to help with check in and I needed to talk to the camp nurse about twin B. She was feeling good and the biopsies came back negative so we decided not to keep her home. The nurse was a student nurse with one semester left to graduate. She was young and resembled a Disney Princess determined to be of assistance to me with my "in case of" list.

We wandered over to the cabin that the girls were assigned to. Twin A got her bottom bunk while twin B would be sleeping on a roll away cot in the middle of the room (she didn't seem at all phased by this). We unpacked their duffel's to their appointed area and set off to take some photos. Twin A was ready for us to leave while I was having flashbacks to the first day of Kindergarten and how she couldn't get rid of us fast enough. I wanted to stay and walk around, really I wanted to check in and participate as a camp counselor. I could have a cool name like, Chowder. The counselors all had made up weird names, like Havanna, Somoa and Shark. This however was not in the plan. Goodbye Parents!!!!

Rob and I got home and the house was eerily quiet. We looked around and wondered is this what it's going to be like when they're gone? I reflected on that thought and immediately didn't like that and he being the great guy that he is, put his hands on my face and pulled me in for a kiss and said, "we will always be near them".

Each day I came home I couldn't check the mailbox fast enough. He had already checked, hoping for a letter from camp. I sent mine on Monday but apparently they didn't get them until Friday. Wednesday night we went out with 2 other sets of parents whose kids were at camp with ours. We laughed and drank good wine and had a great time.

Things changed on Thursday. I came home from work to find 3 letters (2 from twin B and 1 from twin A). Twin B was sad that they had not received any letters from home yet and all the other kids were getting mail with candy in it. By the end of letter #2, Rob and I felt so bad that we were trying to figure out how we could get a letter/candy up there before camp was over on Saturday. Late that same night, our answer would come. I received a call from Shark aka: camp nurse that twin B was having symptoms again. She gave her the medicine and told me not to drive up there yet, she would be keeping twin b in the Infirmary with her all night and would call me in the morning. Friday morning she called and said she was feeling better and not to come. Not more then 2 hours later I received another call, she was having more symptoms. I literally got there in one hour, shaving 30 minutes off the drive (there was no traffic but yes I was speeding). I arrived to camp looking for the Infirmary. Hmmm, this looked more like Hansel & Gretel's Cottage with drapery from Dorothy's dress from the Wizard of Oz. Twin b looked wiped out and pale but cozy in the little bed fit for the seven dwarf's. Shark had taken good care of her and now we were going home. Twin A would stay until Saturday and Rob would drive up to get her. I packed up all her things tossing everything into the duffel with no rhyme or reason, just wanted to get out of there and back home. My husband called and asked if we wanted to stop by his office on the way home, twin b was up for it and so we stopped. We had lunch and walked around, she was back to her old self. She really wanted to return to camp as that was the day they were doing something called the Squirrel Swing. We called the camp and they said bring her back. Really?? So one happy camper later, she was back at camp and I was driving home. We would return the next morning to retrieve both girls anyway. Twin b participated in all the events the rest of the day and had the time of her life however later that night, someone gave her sherbet, yes she got sick again and spent her last night back in the Infirmary with Shark.

That said, these little girls said it was the best experience they had ever had and that says a lot. Their friendships grew and new friends were made. When asked what they liked the most....they each said the one on one time with their counselors who really talked and listened to them about what they knew about God, their personal faith and the potential they have to share with others.

Anniversary Surprise

Saturday morning I woke up to a beautiful tray in my bed with coffee in a thermos and 2 dozen red and white roses with a handmade handwritten card that starts with "No one shall separate the hearts joined by God...a threefold cord is not quickly broken" Ecclesiastes 4:12 ....and then it turns into a beautiful love letter to me written by my husband. It was our 11 year wedding anniversary and plans to celebrate the day were moved to the back burner because of what's been going on this past week. We agreed days ago that we would celebrate when things settled down. We had a house full of guests, trying to decide if the girls would make it to camp and I still have more tests that need to be done at the hospital. The lack of hoopla made this gesture all the more sincere and meaningful to me. I can't believe it's been 11 years already. Marriage is a beautiful dance that has it's own rhythm. Sometimes toes are stepped on and sometimes it's pretty graceful and it always looks pretty when you were a nice dress, but what we have learned together is that ripped jeans and tee shirts, dancing barefoot in the kitchen is much more our style. I'm so glad my dance card is filled. I'll take a handwritten love letter over a store bought gift any day.

Children's Hospital

Today started like any other day; took girls to school but this time only one was getting out of the car as my littlest munchkin was having some procedures done at Children's Hospital. Although this is a place you never want to visit, let me just say, if you have to; it's the place you want to be.

Our daughter was treated like a dignitary from another country. The kindness and gentleness of the staff makes something so scary to a child seem like an enjoyable experience. I'm not kidding. First, the place is decorated like Disneyland from the walls, doors and decor to the brightly colored painted walls. We arrived on time but had to wait 2 hours for her procedure to begin. They went out of their way to make her feel like she was in a toy room when really we were in an exam prep room putting on tiger jammies. Two hours flew by and not one complaint from my sweet baby who from birth likes to know what is going on, routine and a plan. We were covered in prayer that's for sure!

We were able to walk her into the OR and I held her hands as she went off to sleep with the watermelon scented mask. Then they put in the IV and administered General Anesthesia. It was so hard to walk out of that room. I'm pretty good at staying strong on command but when the door shut behind me the tears poured down my face.

We went to the waiting room to wait, as I looked around at the other families I couldn't help but wonder what they were going through and why they were there. It's funny how we move by people all day long in our daily lives, people we don't know, but today was different, I stared across the room and prayed for that mother who was sitting there doing the same thing as I was...worrying about her baby.

We are home now and the patient is doing well. Her balloon bouquet and card from her class cheered her right up.

Pink Peonies

The Joy of Pink Peonies:
Each year usually June sometimes May, like our trip to France on Mother’s Day (yes Mother’s Day). I left my kids and selfishly took a trip alone with my husband during that week. Two years ago I took this photo walking through a local flower market in Nice, France on Mother's Day where my husband, realizing how much I missed my girls, bought me a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers, pink peonies. They remind me of my children. No two exactly the same, and each one so incredibly beautiful in their own way, from their personalities, character and spiritual gifts to the sound of their laughter. Each one God's magnificant creation and a blessing to me.

I look forward to finding these amazing flowers at my local store every year. I've learned over the years to grab the bunch that are small closed balls vs.the partially opened blooms. Why?? Because I know what will happen over the next few days and I don’t want to miss out on any of it (a parallel in my life right now). I carefully remove some leaves and cut back the stems, arranging them in a vase shaped like a watering can that’s painted like a postcard from France.
I carry them upstairs into our bedroom and place them on my night stand. Each day the buds open up a little more until the room is filled with this incredible fragrance and the magnificent beauty of these flowers. It’s amazing to me just how much joy these flowers bring me. I’m reminded that there is still more to come. Each day I look at them and think; wow! Gorgeous! Then the next day, they are even more spectacular! Really it’s odd, but never the less, this week it’s been a huge blessing to me.

This past week has been one of the worst weeks of my life and that says a lot!
After having an unplanned (well less then 24 hrs planned) Bilateral Heart Catheterization, Pulmonary Function Tests, Ct Scans and in and out of the hospital all week, I’m reminded of the littlest of things in life that matter the most and hold such important meaning to me.

First....right after God, family is the most important thing in my life, and although some people choose to not see it that way, I always will. And ps…just because you may not be blood related; family can also be those you choose to adopt as family, for this little fact, I am grateful. The night I found out I was going in the hospital the next day, I drove straight to my self-adopted Mom’s house and climbed into her bed with her and felt the love of her arms around me telling me it was going to be okay, seems small but it was huge to me.

Second… friends are a gift in my life that humble me with their sincerity and support. My friends that have come and gone in my life are dearly missed and oh how I wished they were still around this past week more then ever. They will always be in my heart even though there is a hole in it, literally.

Third....things could be worse. My flowers are a reminder of simplicity, authenticity, joy and hope. I know every year in some field they will bloom again and find their way to my local store and into my life.

4th Grade Overnight Campout

One of the highlights of 4th grade is learning what life was like in California during the gold rush days. So each year the 4th grade classes get to live like, eat like, and pan for gold in the river just like the gold miners did in 1849. The camp is run by dedicated young adults that dress up and play the parts of a miner's family. They stay in character the entire time. Parents are asked to attend this trip for supervision and help with participating events. I was not breathing very good after having some tests done so my husband took the twins and off they went in a caravan of cars up to the gold rush city near Placerville. They pitched a tent and began their exploration of an old working mine.

After work I decided that I would go home get my blanket and pillow and drive up to the camp. In my hasty decision I forgot to bring a charger for my phone. The directions I had were sketchy at best (no exact address) doesn't quite make the navigation system work very well. I had been there 14 years ago with my older daughter so I thought if I could get there before dark I could figure it out. Let's just say that plan didn't work out so well and there I was in the dark traveling on a 2 lane small winding road heading deeper into a wooded forest. My cell phone was flashing low battery and Robert was not answering his phone (they discouraged parents from using their phones as they didn't have them in 1849).

Rob saw that he had a missed call so he called me back, thank God! I had already turned around and was heading back towards the freeway. He was able to connect me to a young woman speaking with a manufactured southern drawl every few words. She told me to turn back around and continue farther on that road until I crossed a river and passed a stone and look for an unmarked dirt road/driveway. Trusting that God really had his hand on this adventure I made my way there. The kids were gathered around the campfire listening to a miner's story.

After the story we walked back to what looked like a compound tent city (everyone brought their own tents) and settled in for the night. I slept on a rock the whole night and wished I had an air mattress but oh well....I was right where I wanted to be with my husband and kids sharing a wonderful history adventure together.

The next day we made candles, churned cream into butter, pounded wheat in the rocks and then made it into dough for cooking. The kids also learned how to use a well to get water. For fun the kids learned how to square dance while someone played a fiddle. They also had a tug-of-war rope contest, parents vs. kids. Kids won! What a great way to live and learn history.

Pressing On

So glad April is behind us. Although Spring vacation was amazing, we had a wonderful time exploring England's countryside, the city of London and I did co-write a book with my youngest daughter about our travels there, but the return home and reality that we were about to face derailed me.

A dear friend aka self-adopted mom, was diagnosed out of the blue with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. She is a healthy active wife, mother, grandmother and business owner, no one saw this coming. Even with my medical background, sitting in the consultation, it was as if we were hearing a foreign language. How could this be? The elephant was now in the room. She would need to begin Chemotherapy the following week.

I have never been this close to someone having this type of diagnosis. I felt helpless and scared. Prior to checking into the hospital for her induction treatment, about 20 of us gathered around her in her home, held hands and participated in an Anointing Prayer. As I prayed and cried I still felt that ever present question why??? Why her? Why can't this horrible disease go to criminals and drug dealers? Why does it have to happen to her? My only answer is that it's in God's hands. He is still God and He will still be with us as we walk through this darkness.

My faith is not negotiable, it is real and I have seen and experienced the power of prayer. This would be no different. So as we dried our eyes, we pressed on to the next step. More Bone Marrow Tests, P.I.C.C. line, Chemotherapy and blood draws. With her husband never leaving her side, I witnessed the beauty of a 43 year marriage transition into the part of wedding vows, "in sickness and in health." The love between them in that room could have lit up a mountain side. I spent many hours at the hospital keeping my game face on, then I would leave and walk to my car and sit in the parking lot immobilized with tears pouring down my face.

I decorated her room at the hospital with "girly style" and the cards poured in. The nurses often said that she was ahead of the game because of how much love was in that room, on the walls and through the computer (webcam). I felt so bad for the people who have to go through this alone. The prayers continued and blessings in the midst of this darkness were becoming apparent. After 2 weeks of treatment and being told this first round would keep her in the hospital for one month, they were letting her go home 2 days before Mother's Day. Praise God! For you see, her daughter had given birth to another grandson last week and she longed to be with her.

Prayer is powerful and although it didn't remove the diagnosis it did provide a miracle. The doctors came in and said she could go home, that her cell counts were good and that she could continue with out-patient treatment. We'll take that!!